What Upon The Vision

Hi There!!

Seeds Of Hope By Terese Holloway published by Creation House - God sows me in His whirlwind-- I cannot pick my landing spot; For; if my Father is not in it I am just an empty pod. BUT, if its, HE who truly sows me into a rich and fertile ground; My fruit will be in excess, And my soul be upward bound.

Defination of Grief - is a multi-faceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed.

Sorry I have not written I felt as if I was suppose to wait. So when I am told to hold back and wait I did. Tonight after really sitting back and thinking about my blog. I started getting what I really wanted to talk about. I hope that what I am going to talk about is what the comment ment. The funny thing is I really didn't know what to say about Grief. I thought to myself, Thank you God for not letting me go through such intense Grief with the loss of a loved one. But then After the weeks went by I know he showed me that Grief is just Grief. We all feel pain and we all go through some sort of a "Grief." So I looked up the defination of Grief what a perfect defination. "Particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed.


7 Stages of Grief -

1. Shock and Denial
2. Pain and Guilt
3. Anger and Bargaining
4. Depression, Reflextion and Loneliness
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstructon and Working Through
7. Acceptance and Hope


Grief is a somewhat commplicated and misunderstood emotion. Yet, grief is something that, unfortunately, we must all experience at some time or other. We will all inevitably experience loss. Whether it is a loss through death, divorce or some other loss, the stages of grieving are the same. I am glad that I took some time to really think about what I am going to say about Grief after thinking about my own life and to others I realized that Grief is one in the same. I read all the definations and looked at all the pages it had for it. They all boil down to the same thing. That the Stages Of Grief all happen to us and the emtional part depends on how the person handles it. I am going to Give 3 examples. Two of them are from my own personal life, and the other is from someone that I know very well and respect. I hope that she doesn't mind.

I will start off with my own personal. When I really learned what Grief was and how the emtion is so powerful over your life. I realized if I would have know this 6 years ago I bet things would have been a little different. Lets start back from some of my first blogs.......With the two examples I went through teenage pregnancy and a divorce at such a young age. I really never couped with it right. Everything I read it was like WOW I went through all of that thinking... Shock and then its my fault... To HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME "Anger" and Then I guess I am not worth anything "Depression." To just wanting to not be alone "Loneliness." To one day remembering that it didn't hurt and it was all gone..... And remembering that its all going to be ok! And I am going to find someone to love me and I am going to have someone love my son "Reconstruction" and "Acceptance." I have had many things that have caused "Grief" in my life.

Crazy huh? How things work. When I was at church this last Sunday. Pastor Todd was talking about somethings that I was confussed or is that me? Kinda thing, It was all junked up in my head. I didn't feel guitly or that I had done something but that I was looking for something. The whole time I was there I wanted to know. I wanted more of it. It almost felt like "Grief" like I didn't want to let it go or I wanted it to stay. As I went to the front, I stood there... Thinking and Thinking What? God what are you saying? Just then a amazing women came up to me and said, What is He Telling you? I stood and thought what is he telling me? I told her I don't know? So I waited for a minute and said he said the "Door is NOT closing" but after that everything I felt was scrabbled.... and then I heard You are aren't there yet. You need alittle more. As I repeated that she said That is a lie. God isn't telling you that. I kinda already knew that...Hard to tell haven't felt that before. She told me the tears that you are crying are tears of Joy and wanting God presence so Bad! That you don't have to be ready for him to move on your life. She gave me the encouagement that I needed that I have changed my life and things are looking up. I have pretty much changed everything I do now. I want to be used the way that I am suppose to. I go when he calls and I say when he speaks. I said But I am ready! She said I know and God knows. There is nothing wrong with wanted more and that she has been here and felt the emtions that flooded over me at that instance. The feeling hurt and I longed for it. As if it was a form of something I had felt before. If I only knew that God was what I was longing for way back then I might already be there.

Anyways I know someone that was such a great person in my life. I did write about her in my first few blogs. I am not going to use her name just incase she doesn't want anyone to know its her. I will call her Kelly. Kelly was young when we first met. Her mother had just passed away not to long after we became friends. Her life was a little crazy meaning that she had a pretty mean boyfriend that we got her away from. And she was going through "Grief" of the loss of her mother. After that Her and I were bestfriends we always did everything together. My son grew up around her. If I needed anything I would call her or she would me. We were always talking and we could talk for hours about anything. Then all my issues started.... and the changes and the "grieving" set in. We went on as nornal. Kelly had something happen to her that was pretty diffecult and it was her boyfriend he had past away. My heart hurt for her. I know that the shock part lasted for awhile and everyone is different on how they react to what happens but for her it did last awhile which was good. So she could try to make the best of what was going on. Then after awhile I felt like my life was changing. It was just different from where it was going to be and what was going to happen. I know now that the timing might not have been right in my eyes. But what I felt in my heart it was time to start over with "change" and focus on my family and I had to do it. She was getting into the "Pain and Guilt" stages. She was there when I told her that I was moving on and then thats when the craziness happened. It happened between the both of us. She said things and I said things. The werid thing is.... After thinking about what we both said things that had to do with our "Grief" in life. Maybe because we both thought it would cut deeper? I don't know. But after all that... she did write me. It was very nice. I thought about everything that was said and how much her and I have been through together the crazy, good, funny, sad, and hurtful times.I wouldn't trade it for anything. I hope that I was there for her just as much as she was there for me. I know that not only did we lose each other in my slient times I realized that I did Grieve for the loss of my bestfriend. I asked God why did it have to be this way? Or just get angry all over again. I remember accepting it and not talking to anyone about it just keeping things to myself or surpise people when they asked how she was doing and I would say I am not sure. I always keep things to myself. Then thats when I got the letter which to me was just a sign from God. That we are to move on and that we should value who we were and what we thought about each other in our times of need. Grief is powerful it will make you change who you are and what you say. I know that we were friends in that time of our life to teach each other and we were friends because thats how it was suppose to be. So for all the grieving in our lifes Kelly! I still thank God for you and that you were always there for me. And I thank God that I was put in your life. We never had a fight. But when we did it ended it all. I know that from what you said in your letter is what I prayed about for you everyday and that it was time. The old saying is we grow up and go on. I just never thought it would be with us like that. And that we were to move on in different directions without a GoodBye. Like I said Maybe one day we will run into each other and I will DEF say HI! I do think God that he showed me how to listen to him and do what he asks but it was probably one of the hardest things for me to do. I am a different person now and I do like the changes I have made to become more like he wants me. The tears I cry now are the Joy of wanting more for my life and family. I have accepted the loss of all the people in my life and I am waiting for the "Vision" He has for me!

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - You see, it's only in HIS vision That my heart will truly know; All that HE'S prepared and The mysteris He'll unfold. So though the visionseems to tarry May I put my trust in Him; Ever hoping in the promise That's He's given me within.

So Today if you are in some kind of "Grief" trust in that promise he has given you. That He is going to be there to wipe the tears and that he is going to help you with your stages. And Don't forget that when you accept what has happened to you. Thank God for pulling you through and either you will see that loved one again or He will show you the Sunshine again! So Keep your eyes on the vision!! You have no idea how much this speaks to my heart. I am so glad I waited to write this. I know that Gods vision for me is very close and its just a matter of time. May God Bless everyone of you tonight.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry. - Habakkuk 2:3


This Video is for you "Kelly" this is the perfect song. I hope you enjoy For all the young times and crazy nights! :)They just made us stronger and we shouldn't ever regret who we are today! Stay Strong and I hope that you continue to find God and that your life and things that you are going through that God will never leave your side and all the "Grief" in your life that God shows you how to use to for his kingdom and that you will save others with there pain and journey!

Signing Off - SmTownTexasGirl