Maintaining Balance

Hi There!

Definition of Father - a person who holds an important or distinguished position.

Maintaining Balance....Wow...Don't we all need to learn to maintain. So hard in this day and time. Today I saw someones status on facebook and it said "downloading" in my heart. Which she was talking about everything God was filling her heart with. I saw that and laughed because all day it was just pouring in. So I was downloading in the spirit today. Thanks Tricia! Fathers is what I was thinking about all day. Just how important a MAN is as a husband and as a "Father" by the way the definition is in the dictionary as what I have already put up there for ya. So you think "important" and "distinguished" position. The bible talks about how important the Husband is in the household and how important he is for his children. The Husband is held responsible for his family. And for the household. He is called The Priest of the home. My mother always told me the greatest gift you can give your children... Well is the LORD of course, but letting them know where you go when you die. I remember her telling me this. And until I was older I never realized just how important that really is. The worry or the regret you would have wondering where are they? Did they go to Heaven or Hell? How sad is that... That some children are sitting up right now and thinking... I wonder if my Father is in Heaven or Hell? Yes Mothers we are important to but I am just going to talk about Fathers in this blog. Fathers are the glue to our giant puzzle. They hold us together and make things work. Without them families fall apart. And without a stable Father it will happen very quickly.


I am going to tell a story about a man I knew back in my day. I will call him Big D.
I was pretty far from home, just arrived went to the store and got groceries. Got back to clean up and get stuff in the house. When my cell phone rang and it was a friend that lived there. (we will call her B) I answered the phone asking her whats going on girl? Before I could spit it all out. She screamed, ARE YOU AT THE HOUSE? I said yes? I am almost there and I have my kids. Big D is acting crazy and mad. I said, Ok? sure come over but I don't have my son. Little did I know that was a God thing. As she pulled up I was outside, getting the last groceries. B was crying so hard. I went over to her car and got in the passenger side and asked her. Whats going on? And Are you ok? She was crying so hard I couldn't understand her. All I could make out is Big D is drinking and is very angry! I said, Well come in and let the babies sit down inside and play. They don't need to hear all this about there Daddy. She said its to late they saw him. I said well lets protect them alittle more. It was about 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I was also thinking, Wow alittle to early to be getting drunk. The kids in back seat were five,four and one the oldest being a girl middle a girl and the youngest being a boy. Beautiful babies and so sweet! I opened my door to get the kids out the side. Before I knew it. A truck pulled up and I heard BOOM BOOM. It was Big D. He was hitting the side of the van with his fist at the drivers window. B was screaming to stop! And I was screaming for him to stop! I was trying to think fast. The kids were in the backseat crying and screaming not to hurt there mommy. I stared into there eyes. And my anger grew more and more! His fist went threw the glass.... I jumped in the backseat and grabbed the two smallest of the kids and told the oldest to COME ON! Before we got out of the car he was pulling her threw the window as she screamed! I ran the kids inside put them in the back bedroom. And looked at the oldest with the biggest tears in her eyes and said, keep your sister and brother safe. And STAY IN THE ROOM! NO MATTER WHAT! Do you understand me? She was so afraid. The middle child couldn't even speak all I heard was mommy is hurt! I said, I know I will be back! Everything is ok! I left the room. Think Think..is what I am telling myself. What am I going to do? They call him Big D for a reason..... So I called 911 and went out the back door around the house with a baseball bat. And he was gone? And B was laying there hurt. I told 911 what happened and they said they would be there shortly. I said B!! you ok? All she asked was where are the kids? I said they are fine I locked the house and I have the keys. I told her not to go in there and let them see her like that. But when the police got there they kids did see her. I found out that when he drinks that happens alot.. the middle child told me. B would never tell me that. I haven't seen her since that all happened. I was 18 years old. I do recall sitting in the room with the kids while the police were talking to B. And was talking to the kids giving them hugs and snacks. Looking at what damage there "Father" just did to them. Thats the first time I realized how important Fathers are to the family. His glue wasn't holding anything and his family was falling apart the kids really wouldn't be able to trust there Daddy and the son very well could think that its ok to treat women like that. And his daughters may find a man that has no respect for women. Get my drift? You are the playing ROLE in the family like it or not!


Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - Lord, may I maintain by balance--through all my highs AND lows. Sustained with grace from heaven and my faith in Your alone. May my afflictions last a moment and then quickly dull and fade; As the breath from Your own nostrils, comes to blow them all away.

I am not telling this to bash Fathers. Like I said they are so important. Its like I always make fun of my husband for calling his Father "Daddy". But the truth is I just like to egg him on. But really he calls his Father "Daddy" because he is a Daddy to him. I asked him one day. Why do you call him Daddy and not Dad? My husband looked at me and said, because he is my Father and he has always been a real Daddy to me. He has raised me to be a man. And he is just not a DAD he will always be loved with all my heart as Daddy. I smiled and think that is cute. And I do understand he is that man. That my husband feels safe, the man that if he needed anything advice to help. He will be there.

I had a friend don't get mad "Ashley" ha ha I am going to talk about her Father. He was invested into his kids 100% He knew where they were. Knew what they were doing. He made rules and you didn't break them. Ashley and I would always try to get in trouble or go do something and He and his wife were like a team no one ever beat them. Ugh! I use to think we can't do nothing haha! But the truth is look how well his family worked. He invested his time and energy into his family and not that they never got in to trouble. But the knew there were consequences from the Father and if they were willing to face them, then they might just cross that line.

So if you start looking at God as your Father.... Don't you think you would rethink the consequences before making a decision? Ashley's Father taught God,respect and right from wrong. What do you think Big D taught his children?

I could go on and on about Fathers... Really what you need to know is that you are the man of the house! You show your kids how to act in the real world. Give them the gift of God,respect and right from wrong. So that they have the tools to be a successful person. And when they have kids they are repeating the correct process to your grand kids. And your heart as a Father can feel like JOB WELL DONE! And you know your family for generations are protected.

A Father that doesn't show love or interest to a child. Lets start with a Girl. A girl will go and find that love from a boy looking for that Father figure in there life. Which can lead to a world of hurt for her. A Boy will end up looking for someone to show off to. Someone that can invest there time with them (and it could be bad investment). He will look for every man possible to give him some attention and to feel loved and to impress. So Fathers what is it that your kids are looking for? LOVE. Love your girls show them that you are there. Most of all show them by loving your wife spend time with them and make them truly feel like a princess and to know that you do care about her needs and what boy is at the house. And to your son show interest in them. So them how proud you are of them. Show them that they mean the world make them your real buddy your best friend. Most of all teach your kids about God. Show them how much you love and trust God! And guide them to the understanding that they are really looking for The "Fathers" Love. Which is Jesus. And that God made you the Father to train and take care of the family.

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - May I find Your very favor in the midst of every trial And receive, Your joy promised, to walk another mile. In my prison, keep me singing even when there's nothing left. Lord may my eyes be ever upward and NEVER upon self. And then when HIGH times come, may I never soon forget Your benefits extended, through the blowing of Your breath.


So no matter what trail you or your family are in! You can change it. Don't think that you can't. As a husband take care of your wife! Let them know that you are there to protect, guide and take care of the family and truly be a priest of the home. My desires are to have that Godly home. That where you know God dwells and you can feel it. I know we are almost there and we will get there! Husbands did you know that the bible says for you to LOVE your wife. And your wife to obey. It never says to your wife to love your husband. So what it is saying "Fathers" LOVE!! is the most important thing in your household. Love is your glue use it get your family all back together again. And your wife and children will obey and listen to your instruction. And to start this is to start LOVING God. And the rest will come to follow. Be a "Good" example to your kids. And be a "Good" leader for your wife. Lead them!


This is a music video..... I was thinking about this blog and really didn't know how to start it off or write it... I got into my car to go home and said can I have a song to encourage me with this! Is this what I am suppose to be blogging about? Nothing stood out. Then I left from getting my kids and this song came on "Lead Me" and I knew right away. This was my second time to ever hear it. And it really touched my heart because this song is what my heart desires and as all women do. And its ok thats how God made us! And thats a whole New story!! :)

So Men with all that said Go! Be a Priest of YOUR home. Start today by Finding and Loving God! And God has so many promising things for you!!


Signing Off - SmTownTexasGirl

Tears Are Simply Enough

Hi There!

This is on page 61

All day today, I was thinking about children and how joyful and how blessed I am to have such healthy and brilliant kids. But then also some things from the past arose that I have not thought about in a long time. And I felt like maybe I should share those. I am going to tell a story about a girl I knew. I will not give her name just because this is her story and I don't want her to feel betrayed or that I told a secret about her. Most of my friends or family do not know this women or have never met so I should be pretty safe with the story. And if by chance she read this or crosses my path again I am doing this because I like I told you... Your story can help others with hurt or save them from making those same mistakes....

I just started my new school for pregnant females in high school. Yes high school.... anyways I felt so alone in that school and really didn't know anyone. I remember walking into the class and looking around where there was NO desk but tables so we could adjust the chairs to sit. Well of course with our big bellies. I was so afraid. Because leaving my old school I was not showing but everyone knew so the jokes and stares were there. So now having a belly, entering into a room with teenagers.. You can see where I am going at. But as I walked through the door to enter my new classroom. I noticed there were lots of girls just like me. And they smiled and greeted me. They teacher announced my name. And asked me to tell alittle about myself and how far along I am and my due date. As I sat down next to a girl that asked me sit with her. We started getting to know each other. We ate lunch together and hung out. She introduced me to lots of other girls which also became my friends. As the months started going on I realized how many friends I did make there. And was even voted funniest person. Every morning we had to do group classes and talk to a counselor or to the group about what was going on in our life's and share together. As I was walking to my next class I notice she was crying and I asked her if she was ok? "She" we will call Tonya... Tonya said, no I am not I feel awful and just don't know how I am going to handle this again. I said, yes pregnancy can make you feel awful but everything will be ok! Tonya stared at me and said YOU don't understand, and she walked off into the class. As we sat in our computer desk she MSG me. And we are not suppose to do that in class. So I wrote her back super fast and closed it out. Tonya wrote is it ok if after school we go and talk somewhere? I said sure! Anything you need! Finally the bell rang and we walked out of the class to my car and got inside. She stared at me so blankly. I said, What is it? ..Umm Promise you won't hate me? I laughed, no!! I will not hate you. Seriously? Why would I hate you? Tonya turned to look at the window and didn't say anything for a minute or so. I said Tonya you are scaring me! Did something bad happen? Are you ok? I am not sure what to think! She said, Shut up and listen I have never told anyone this and I don't want you to hate me. The only person that knows is my boyfriend. About six months ago I did something awful..... And my heart hurts and I can't stop thinking about it and now I am pregnant! And I am so stupid! I said you are not stupid! What happened six months ago? She said I thought it was no big deal that it would solve everything. I would never remember it again. But it replays in my head over and over again. What?? I said. Ok, I was pregnant 6 months ago... and you see I am four almost five weeks now. Do you see? Oh no! Did you lose the baby? I said. She said NO I didn't I had abortion! I said Oh, Tonya! And now you are pregnant again? She said YES! So loud and angry! I did not mean to make you mad. I am just trying to figure out what is going on.. Tonya turned with big tears and said Here it is My sister has a three year old! When her three year old turns four I should have a baby and when her three year turns five. I should have a one year old! DO you see!! as she starting breathing heavy and was trying to catch her breath. At the time I was sixteen. Staring and what do I say? How to I help her? Even though everything was happening so fast just for a quick second I prayed, God will you give me words to speak. Please help me talk to her. I said, Tonya look at me! Calm down and listen I know you are hurt. And I know from the way you are acting that your heart hurts with anger, sadness and regret. Before I could finish my sentence she said yes and now I am bring another baby in this mess and this baby has nothing to do with this! If I hadn't have done that this baby wouldn't even be born! I looked at her with shock that I was hearing this. I took a deep breath and listened to my heart. And told her listen. I don't know the pain you are going through and that I am so sorry you are hurting. I grab her and hugged her as hard as a could. And whispered in her ear. God still loves you. And he will never stop loving you. Your child is up in heaven with Jesus and is waiting for you. This child will never hate or have anger towards you. The truth is Tonya you made a decision that will effect your life. And that decision can either help people or destroy you. Your story is special and should be shared with care when you find that peace. God has freedom in his hands and he wants you to brake free from this. As I was trying to finish she said how am I going to love this other baby? Knowing what I did to my first child. I said YOU will love this baby as a gift. There is always a meaning and this child will be born because GOD already knows his/her name and this baby has a purpose and a plan. She looked down at the floor board and I stopped to think. How fortunate I am to have a mother that taught me not only is it wrong. But the hurt that it will bring. And the power of that hurt is strong I could tell. It was consuming her every thought. Tonya you see we all go through something different and yours is a powerful. It is done and YOU will make it! You are still a mother now even if you weren't pregnant. Tonya looked up and starting crying even harder. I leaned over and hugged her again! She said I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I could go back. I told her to talk to the counselor about what she is going through and that no matter what GOD will forgive her and she will make it through. I explained about how sin can destroy our life's and thats what the devil wants to happen. He wants you to never let this go. I said scream it from the top of your lungs and tell him HE DIDN'T WIN! She screamed as loud as she could! And kept on screaming and I started screaming with her! Not only did she scream he didn't win! She also was screaming out at her boyfriend and her mom for not being there for her. And ask God to help and heal her! I am sure if someone was outside they were thinking... What is going on in there? She stopped and said, thank you I do feel alittle better. I said Yes but you need healing and you have to FORGIVE yourself. So we prayed and after that the last time I ever saw her was by some apartments of one of my other friends I was about twenty at that time. I smiled up at her. She said HEY! come here! This is my son! And I smiled at him and said he is cute! How are you? Tonya said. I am good with the biggest smile ever! Well that is great and you look great. I hope all is well. I have never seen her again. So I do hope all is still well. And that she found her healing in the fathers hands.


The whole reason I even mentioned this story is how abortion can crash you so bad. Even if it wasn't one and you had a miscarriage and you feel it was your fault or not! The best words I can say is scream it out as loud as you can!!! No matter what anyone tells you that is a baby. And no one tells you about the pain and counseling you might need afterwards. From her story I can't tell her true feelings. But As many stories I have heard like this.. I see there pain and God will NEVER stop loving you and he knows your pain! Some of us may never know what happens until we sin and then we get the consequences. Honestly from my heart. I do believe that also goes for no sin is greater than the other. Yours just might feel like it hurts more. I wish I could say what it is but all I know it my destiny is to help the broken. So when I hear or see that brokenness in your eyes I can't help it but say something. I hope that when you are reading this if hurt arises in your heart tonight to let it out! Let the TEARS flow!! Show God that you are ready for your heart and mind to be healed from whatever it is that has happened to you either abortion or miscarriage.

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation house - A spoken farewell can NEVER convey; What a tear from the eye can silently say. Nor the stain on a letter, from one tear that falls, For what a tiny tear says, will usually cover it all. You see, when tears are released, from the depth of the soul; They can pierce through the hurt, and bring warmth to console.
For it's in a heart-splitting moment, in the midst of it all; God will touch the emotions and let the tears fall. Words need NOT always be spoken, to understand love; Because sometimes in silence---Tears Are Simply Enough!


I hope that her story touched you. I have heard many like hers and I know it hurts. But again There is forgiveness in the Fathers Hands! So today let your heart be fixed! Find your freedom and most of all FORGIVE yourself. You are still a amazing women and NO matter what anyone says. You can still find GOD and that glue for all the broken pieces of your heart. Scream and shout and LET it all out. Just like the poem says let the tears fall. And you don't even need WORDS. He already knows what your needs are.


signing off SmTownTexasGirl





This song is Amy Grant - Better than a Hallelujuah

Yes this is that song I mention in the one of my blogs this is a perfect song for a broken heart it will touch you!! I love it! It has also helped me!

Summer Season

Hi There!!

This is on page 248

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - I've planted seed in the drought when I could not smell the rain; I've watched the storm clouds gather but still my faith remained. I've adjusted to the summer's heat and long hours into night; I have wearied through exhaustion but I've continued in my plight.

I was sitting and thinking today.. How many things really have I done and still watching for or asked or to see what is to come.

The definition of Experience - go or live through

The definition of Wisdom -the trait of utilizing knowledge and experience with common sense and insight, knowing the outcome and truth


Now as to the Fear of the Lord, here too a distinction is to be made between servile fear (fear of punishment) and filial fear (whereby a son fears to offend his father or to be separated from him) Now it is not servile fear but filial fear that is the Gift of the Holy Spirit and which Scripture commends. Hence, when Scripture says we should “Fear the Lord” it does not mean that we should run and hide because God is going to punish us, but rather that we should receive the the gift of the Holy Spirit wherein we dread to offend God or be separated from him. This, I hope you can see, is a very precious gift. And although the word “fear” tends to elicit negative reactions, I hope to show you that the Biblical world experienced the Fear of the Lord as a very great and highly prized blessing.





You know when you have come to a place in your life that is so crazy and the storm is wild. And you look at it with youthful eyes and don't know how to handle or how to take care of it. Those are the days or learning. When those days never end and the fun or quails never stop. Those are what you would call inexperienced not aware... don't know how to put a handle on things. I know that I have had plenty of those days. Quick to react and quick to responded and easy on judgement to people or issues.

Experience I guess you would also call it wisdom. You see I am not very old but I know that I do have wisdom. I've always been the mother hen of the group or always the one to be quick to take care of someone. The thing is I will always love taking care of people but with even more wisdom I have learned about people that use and abuse you. Wisdom comes from experience. I have one child and thought the second one would be easy ha ha think again there different some things that I did with my first my second did not like. But things that I do with my second the first doesn't like. They funny thing is they both kinda have a weird way of being the same. So I guess you can say I have gained experience from the children. My work, my marriage and my life all have certain things that would take experience from that I have gained. Wisdom, if I were to tell you or your parents or someone that you trust. I think that is a bad choice.... That just isn't the answer to this or the boy/girl you should be dating. My first thought would be because this person see something they had to deal with and is trying to give you wisdom. The thing is Wisdom is not given it comes with experience. But the trick is to listen to higher Counselors whether it being your parents, or someone that has been in that boat. And most of all GOD! They only reason people give advice is to give you information. Which later in life turns into experience.

So with all my go through everything that I know and feel or planted I hope I have a HUGE harvest and that with choices I make that they are made because of wisdom. The Fear of the Lord gives you wisdom. When you have personal attack on your family or life. You should make a choice.... is this choice going to be Let's have peace or Let's start a fight. If You choose to Fear the Lord then you will make the right choice. I would fear that he would frown upon me making everything into a fight so I have now gained wisdom with my choices. I want God to be proud of me not to frown on me ... And now that starts becoming natural so next time it happens its called experience. Which to some people could look like its alittle selfish. But I am not trying to have self love..What I am trying to do is learn right from wrong and Listing to the Holy Spirit and and doing whats right for GOD I do feel joy and praise for him! Sometimes we have to take baby steps to learn who we are and how to react! And theres nothing wrong with that!

So you look at Experience,Wisdom and Fear of Lord... Turn it around and goes To Fearing, Gaining Wisdom and now experience. The trick maybe you won't have to go through so much hurt and pain to find out that maybe wasn't such a good choice in my life... OR maybe I should have treated them better. Or WHY is this happening to me?

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - Yes, the seed I've sown seems endless but I've yet to see the crops, For its hard to SEE the harvest when the ground is hard as rocks. You see, the season of the summer is work from dawn to dark; And Often times relentless--a dry and dusty work of art.
But the harvest follows summer and that seed within the soil; Will flourish in the sunshine,amidst the sweat and toil.

You see so when you come to that certain time in life when you know that you have done wrong or maybe your the person that went through the issues. Keep praying because no matter what YOUR crops will grow and your harvest will come. So By Fearing the Lord you will make the right decision so the next time FIRE comes to your crop you know how to put them out with wisdom.... So then you turn and give experience to either your situation or to another. And so on and so on. And you will get victory! In your harvest...... I will not let any wolf into my hen house for I am on guard and I also have peace for the first time about everything in my life. Knowing God is there and he does care. And just alittle reminder he gave me Experience and it can be define with the word!

The bible verse on my daily app is this -
2 Timothy 2:24-25 And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth!


So today when you read this or just have daily life. Look at your experience... And when you do share it. Give Wisdom show people your go through let them know there not alone. Your wisdom may be good or bad. But we have it because it is there to help us make right choices and again Right choices start by Fearing The Lord! And Wisdom will be for you to keep! So Stand still and Listen tonight. Your story may just lead you in the right direction. And your harvest could be bigger than you imagined!!

I will finally get mine....



And a special thanks to Matt.... Whoever you are?? I feel in my heart that you were sent from God! And So God Thank you for not only showing me with daily life but confirming that YOU know and Love me and my family so much! And you are watching and winking and giving me a smile. I will receive that! And as for me and my Family WE are going to do GREAT things! Buckle your seat belts cause this is going to be a bumpy ride! And I am IN!

Signing off - SmTownTexasGirl


This Video is by Britt Nicole - I wanna set the world on fire!

This song has always touched my heart because the song is something that I feel like will happen one day and just maybe you just needed to hear it to get you started with your dreams!!

God Of The Impossible

Hi There!

This is on page 246....

Definition of Grace - unmerited gift of the divine favour in the salvation of sinners. It is understood by Christians to be the free gift of an uncaused and overflowing love─totally undeserved mercy.


Grace... That's how I am going to start this out. What does it mean to you? When you hear the word Grace? You know you hear it when you are wrong and have sinned. Or when you ask someone to give you Grace or PLEASE God give them Grace... Its special its truly a gift that YOU have to receive to be given the gift...... We shall come back to Grace in just a few..

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - I am the God of the Impossible, and I'm just as close as any prayer. I hear each request that you have made, and assign MY angels there. It truly matters to MY heart, what stirs within your soul; It's MY desire to meet your needs, and let my blessings flow. You think in darkness I can't see, the place where your heart hides; But I've heard your pleas of agony, and brought deliverance to your life.

Have you ever ask a question to God and feel like he said "What are you talking about?" because more then likely you have ask him over and over again. Ha Ha! And you know you have done it!! You see I haven't written because of certain things going on in my life right now. OR it seems that it just keeps coming back after I have asked it to LEAVE me alone I can't count how many times. Its like a little sister or brother that you have had follow you around all day and all you want is peace and quiet! The whole reason you told this to go away is for peace! But deep inside you knew this was going to happen because this thing controls things in your life! And are hard to get rid of. So you watch and wait thinking the coast is clear.... But then it jumps right back out and shows you I AM STILL HERE! So then again You ask God... Please let me have peace. And think what is it that I could have done better... To get rid of this in my life. Remember when I said be careful to not let SNARES get you down, because then the devil steps in and uses you as a PUPPET. And remember I said it wouldn't happen again! Well I did it! It didn't happen again. I feel what it means to be tested and to have been sucessful!! WOW... but then you realize that maybe those 6 words you said were not nice and should not have been said. So then you goto that place where you Say God please forgive me. I wasn't thinking and said way to much in anger and Can I please take it back? Well this time I heard "What are you talking about?" Hmmm?

What is he saying to me..? Grace is the word. You see when you ask God to forgive you and you are being sincere and true from your heart. He hears you and Just like the poem says He knows your needs. See I know now why all this happened. I have carried Shame throughout my life and always thought that you couldn't let it go because you can't use Grace. Maybe you can relate to this statement, "Christan's just think they can go do what they want and then turn around and ask for FORGIVENESS" Have you heard that? I'm sure have and then I started believing that! I couldn't ask, so for all these years of hurt and pain in my life I just thought I was a no one. Even when I am that person who does hear and see signs and wonders....

Really what Grace means is he is giving you Grace as a gift. Its not a free ticket to do what you want but it is there to guide you as to find your purpose. You can't scream and yell at this person because YOU can. You remember that you can't because you are forgiven and You have Grace to live your life right. So maybe more people should give others Grace and not judge so much! And Remember that God loves them just as much as he loves you. I know its hard! We are human. But that's where to me "Grace and The Fear of the Lord" steps in. I realized that I never stopped loving God... I stopped fearing him! And When that happens the true saying All Hell Breaks Loose. You see before you make that decision make it because not only do you love God.. But that you fear him and by knowing this you make that choice. Example when you were a teenager and the phone rings from your parents did it put fear in you not to be somewhere you are not suppose to be!Are so you answer quickly or tell your friends you can't go? Yes, you did! I was that kid too!!

So reality is.... I am forgiven even when I can't tell them. It took me awhile to figure this out. That from here on out. I will use my Grace to its full potential and not because I have done something I am not suppose to. Maybe one day... I can ask them to forgive me, but for now I will wait for the moment because I know God will let there be one.

I have journeyed so far from who I was. And even though I can't open that door to forgiveness from them.... I realized God told me last night.. You don't have to be a HERO tonight! And to be a watchmen for people who needs to be forgiven or are looking for it. And Just maybe "Robyn" you can give them some Grace...... So if by chance you are reading this To all the people in my past I have hurt..or let down I am truly sorry! And Please forgive me "I am not who I was" And to one person in general I should have never said such nasty things to you! And I wish I could take them back, because the truth is I really never wanted to hurt you! I wanted you to stop being so mean... And I was pushed to far...So with all that said... Will you forgive me? And after saying this I am going to let go... and Let God... No more bitterness and shame anymore......



Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - So never think I do not hear, the heartfelt prayers of faith; Trust Me to hold your heart and soul, just stand my child and wait. My miracles are coming, lift your face, trust Me and see; Remember, I can do ALL things-- For there's NOTHING that's too hard for me.


So Today is there shame and unforgiven in your life? Are you able to ask for forgiveness from them? If you can go ask get rid of it! It turns into bitterness and then way to hard to get rid of! And then shame sets in and then you start falling apart!! Or maybe you just need God to forgive you! Ask and he will answer!! He has answered every question I have asked! Do not be afraid to ask! Because you see theres nothing that's to hard for him. Or maybe you just need healing from a TOXIC relationship with friends or EX husband,wife, boyfriends, girlfriends ext..... I have a trick for you that I have been using and it works for me try it next time you start thinking about past regrets or something that gets you all fired up! lol.. Here it is everything I start to think about something like that I start saying GRACE GRACE GRACE GRACE over and over again until it goes away and its not in my mind anymore... Because the devil will bring it back up again... and try to make you remember what you did! OR what kind of person are you. Or how mean they were to you!! Try it lets see.......

Signing off SmTownTexasGirl


watch this music video I know he is talking about God but it is a great SONG! and It helps me know that I am not who I was...

Brandon Heath - I am not who I was

Roadway To The Cross

Hi There!

If you are following this is on page 217.

As I start reading today, I see my trails and where I have come from.
Like the stories that our mothers would read us....

Once a upon a time there was a beautiful girl and she lived a amazing life and she married the man of her dreams and lived happily ever after.......

Well she is beautiful and probably lives a amazing life and did marry the man she wanted to and might have lived happily ever after......Right.. What happened for her to get there? More then likely quite a few things. You kinda have a background of where I have come from just alittle bit. Or who I might be. But who are you? Whats your story? How did you get there? Well lets talk about that. Maybe start with the poem.

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - If we focus on the problem, instead of on the goal. We'll find ourselves off balance and reeling from the blow. You see, we cannot make decisions based on emotions deep within, We cannot overcome adversity, until we're truly seeking HIM.

When I read this poem today.. I thought of "Broken Road." When you come to that place where you know there is a dead end and its ready to take that cross road because your road is broken. One way says escape, and the other says destiny. Which road will it be? Hard choice both roads knowing I need a "escape" and my "destiny."
Escape's road starts with trees that are old and HUGE. They look beautiful. You see flowers growing. Wow You start to go and the smell is toxic. Its sweet and warm.. The only thing is you are uncertain where it leads and if you will get out! Destiny's road is long and looks like it goes on forever. You see the road turn and whirl around and back and forth..You do see the sunset just beyond the trees...The light shines through them just enough for you to see. Hmm? You look at both paths remembering you are suppose to have faith in where you go. Like the saying "take a leap of faith". So you stop examine both roads. Escape "Beautiful and pretty" Destiny "Long and uncertain, light". So you think, that's where the faith comes in. Well maybe just alittle. If your reading I know which one you would pick! The Beautiful and pretty but more logically knowing the story you would pick Long and uncertain. Right? Well, When you came to that road in your life, That you choose did it give you peace,faith and knowing that your going to get off! And Theres light all the way? Or did it give you a joyride leading you to the other side where there is dread and no hope and absolutely no peace and failure?

If you choose Destiny then you choose the right road. See God never said it would be easy but that he would be with us the whole way. You see uncertain is where you step in and ask God for his guidance and to trust him. I would rather take the long road to get there and Go Through my "Go Through" if it means that's how I am going to find him. And that he will light the way! Escape's road leads you to no peace. And having a struggle to find your way. Yea! It was easy to take. But when you got to the other side. Was there the light leading you the rest of the way? No there wasn't! We may take roads in life that are uncertain. But you should know its from God by what it brings you. When you made it did you have Faith and Love and a peaceful heart? Because he will never give you any other feeling. If you feel bad because of something that has happened or that you have done. Its because the "Holy Spirit" is guiding you and its called conviction. NOT hurt feelings. Totally different. Its what you would call "tuff love" and showing you the right choices. So If I feel like I need to say something because its on my heart. I stop and think is this going to bring life and or hurt? God will not bring death to you circumstances or no way out always remember that before you make decisions.

So Once upon a time. There was a girl who went through alot. And found that God was her happy ending and that when she found him! He gave her the right path and promised to never leave her. She stubbled upon her broken road and almost gave up! But instead trusted his words. And he HEALED her broken road. Now she will work everyday on her married and children and show them Jesus and show them just how much she appreciates her happy ending.

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - If the path we choose to follow, is the roadway to the cross. Dear Saint of God, keep going, continue steadfast in the race; Set your compass for Glory, and Your heart upon HIS face!!

So today... Are you at that cross road? And need some HOPE! Remember he is with you and will light the way.. Its never to late to ask him to redirect your way and take you to the correct path. Or maybe you came through! And This just brought you peace knowing that he is thinking of you today and wanting to give you some HOPE that you DID IT! Or maybe you are uncertain and not sure where you are at. Remember all you have to do is ask him and he will show you. Where ever you are in life. Ask him to LIGHT the way today..... And follow the light through the trees. YOU can make it! ( I don't know who this is for today but I must say I started off this blog today and typing away opened the book and read the page and the poem went right along with this!!) God is so good and knows your needs and LOVE everyone of you!

signing off - SmTownTexasGirl

Realm Of Love

Hi there!

If you are following I am reading Realm of Love page number 159...

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

The definition of Love - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

The Definition of Joy - be glad; rejoice.The emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying

The Definition of Peace - silence; stillness, freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquillity; serenity.

The Definition of Long suffering (Patience) - an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay

The Definition of Gentleness - not severe, rough, or violent; mild

The Definition of Goodness - the best part of anything; essence; strength

The Definition of Faith - confidence or trust

The Definition of Meekness (Kindness) - of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, indulgent, considerate, or helpful

The Definition of Temperance (self-control) -Manage unruly desires/addiction, Control of one's emotions, desires, or actions by one's own will

But the greatest of these is love... Love "Passionate" hmmm.... You know God so "LOVED" the world that he gave his only son.... Love is all in the bible our God is a God of Love... No other and will be no other. I hear people all the time he is for war and there is war all in the bible sure there is! I know it.. still doesn't mean our God is not a God of love! Jesus did not die for us for no reason he did because God loved us and he LOVES his FATHER! And knows that his wisdom was correct and it had to happen! And it did! Thank you God for saving us! I hear that the other gods are the same as Jesus.....hmmm No because again GOD is about LOVE..... When others say these things. Do you think they feel Peace....Have Faith....Hear the Holy Spirit when all is wrong..Do they get kindness,Is it a Gentle word to ease your spirit.... No its not because JESUS is lord! And that's all there is to it! When I am afraid and worried.... Or just need that comfort! I promise you that you can to get that from God... I hear.. Girl you are so layed back.. Yea, if that's what you want to call it... Its "Peace". Wow you light a room! Yea, its God.. But its also JOY that God brings! See his light is made up of so many things and when you have that relationship you have them to. I hear people say there Christan's....but I don't see any Fruits... Hmm... What does that mean? It means that God couldn't be living and breathing and talking to someone that HATES..ANGRY...HAS no CONTROL... The truth is We all have our moments in life and well.... Just because you said a bad word or having a bad day! Doesn't mean Your not a Christan.. What it means is were human and shows us that we NEED God! Having a relationship with God is just about the most peaceful, loving relationship you can have! For example I try to be a good wife, and mother to my children and husband. Not only because I love them, but because God tells me to. To Honor and obey my Husband I do take that serious! And honestly I love doing that because since I am following the rules with God it makes a peace and my families happy! I love making sure I am pretty for my husband and that they house is clean and every ones bellies are full. I take JOY in it!And giving Kindness.. Gentleness to the kids with understanding.. Goodness for my husband and FAITH that through anything God is always there and Protects me and my family! And the best of these is LOVE. I LOVE my life, my family, my friends! And Most of all God!

Seeds of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - In the stillness of the moment I find myself aware. That I am standing in YOUR presence and consumed within your care.

The Moment for my today was realizing that how much effort I really do put into my life and family for him. When I heard fruits of the spirit today I couldn't stop thinking about it. I knew I needed to talk about this.. God wanted to show me I am in his care everyday no matter what! No bad or sad stories today just of REALIZING that God loves you and his LOVE is everlasting and you can find comfort in his presence today.

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - So, know that I will seek you with all my heart and soul; For its only Lord, in YOU, that my life is truly whole.

Its so true! Just think back when your following the rules of caring for your husband and making him head of house hold, and letting him be the man! Its awesome because God made the man to provide and protect and to be Head Of The Home... He made women to be loving, mothers and the partner of her husband! If you take that place you might just see! And when you really work on that relationship with God... You to will start to see what I am seeing right now!

So as for me I am going to keep working on The Fruits Of the Spirit and Follow him with all my heart and soul and I know my life will be whole. Just this small journey has made such a difference in me already! And again I am not perfect but no one is perfect until whom is perfect has returned! And its ok to be made fun of about God it should really encourage you because that means someone saw your FRUITS! And if they ask about God again that should be encouraging well because again they might have seen your FRUITS! So just put a smile if someone says WOW I thought you were a Christan... because that means they see it to! And put a smile when someone says so do you really think God is coming back? Because that also means they need that peace,joy, that love, that relationship that YOU have with God!


So TODAY go get in his loving presence find what it is that he wants you to work on in your family life, where your friends are concerned... Maybe just by showing someone The Fruits.... They might see him.. Cause it should come natural (expect for patience I am working on that Promise GOD!! and I haven't mastered self-control.... But Thank YOU GOD for YOU!! I am almost there I will fake it until I make it!) I hope the definitions help you understand what they all mean and how to obtain them!




signing off - SmTownTexasGirl

His Light In Me

Hi There!!

This is on page 15 if you are following... You know I never knew what it meant to have his light in me... And well you learn this from a young state. Like the song "This little light of mine". Have you ever listen to the words? Its special and its important. The light that shines means to me to show it. For example someone told me, in one of my darkness moments in life when the waves were high and I felt no where to go. You bring such joy to a room. You walk in and your presence is know. I watch people come over to you with smiles and greet you and ask hows you day? And whats going on with you in "laughter". I stood there and said, well thank you I love to make people laugh and happy. Funny is my middle name. HA HA right.... In all seriousness that was the day I realized what that meant. I had felt no Joy and Laughter..I was sad and lonely and upset with God! I can admit I have been upset and angry with him. In many moments not understanding that was going to lead me in my direction at that moment in time. She said JOY....Presence and Laughter...and well fellowship. That is God! That was his light in me showing through all the emotions and all the sadness that no matter what again he was always with me. "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine, hide under a bushel NO! I'm going to let it shine! Won't let Satan "WHOOSH" it out! I'm going to let it shine." I sang that as I got into the car that day, and headed out... As a I got a awful phone call. That really didn't put a cherry on top. I asked God, Here I am singing your song!! And that happens to me! I pulled up into a church parking lot and cryed!! And asked him one last time... WHY is this happening to me? I have loved and cryed to you so long! Tell them to leave me alone and let it be. I got no answer...... nothing... my heart felt numb.

"Seeds Of Hope" by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - I look out into the darkness, across the stormy skies; I can hardly take it nor scarce believe my eyes. For the waves are crashing high and the winds in tempest blow; Lightening flashes in succession, with such devastating bolts, But I am safe within the storm, for I'm a lighthouse straight and tall.

As I left the car.. and walked in to the store to get something to drink and maybe some gum. The girl at the front said. Hi, How are you today? I said good! and You? I am doing well! I said that is good to hear!I got my items and she said Whats wrong? I said nothing! Kinda a little upset that she would ask? She said, You are such a pretty girl and have such a wonderful smile! You have a light that brightens room. You shouldn't be sad. I said, thank you and walked out. I got back in to my car and cryed. Why am I crying? I thought to myself. I didn't do anything wrong? As I got back to my work, and walked in to get away from the heat. I watched as people watched me... What are they thinking? Whats wrong with them? One of the guys walked up and said you know its pretty cool after everything you have been through and whats going on. You always manage to put a smile and a laugh on someones face. I said Thanks! I try you know! He said no it looks natural. And I smiled and walked off to the bathroom, knowing they must know I have been crying... So I looked at myself in the mirror and said please God! Make my heart feel better and make me feel better! As I got ready to go home that day. Making my last drop off at work. Someone walked up and said just so you know as a friend, your coworkers are telling people whats been going on. I said that's fine. No one has said anything to me. HE said because you look fine? I said do I? I thought I must put on a good front!! For sure cause I am not fine! He said, I know your not! But you wouldn't be Robyn if you weren't. I got in my car to go home and I thought, God can I not have a sad day? Can I not feel alone? and cry? And I said But I GUESS I WOULDN'T BE ROBYN IF I WASN'T right? and turned up the radio as loud as it could and the song "Stand In The Rain" by "SuperChick" Came on which its from the album "Beauty from Pain" and the song goes:

She never slows down
She doesn’t know why
But she knows that when she’s all alone
It feels like it’s all coming down

She won’t turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down

Chorus:
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fear’s whispering
If she stands, she’ll fall down

She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything
She’s running from
Wants to give up and lie down

I remember hearing this song and thought the chorus was perfect! I told GOD thank you! and That I needed that which the chorus is:

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain

You know I got home and got ready for Wednesday night church because I felt like I really needed it. I was putting some stuff up in a box. Because at this point I lived back with my mother and father in there house after the divorce. And I put up a little bitty frame. I turned the frame around and it said "Robyn" Shinning with Fame." I have always had people tell me what that means is your going to be famous.... Yea right! ha ha! At that moments all the people that told me about my "smiles" my "presence" my "laughter" and fellowship with others hit me at once. It was "Shinning" with fame! His "Light" was inside me! So I called some friends and asked them to go.

As a I got to church it was about "My Destiny" I listened and Laughed because Pastor Todd is always funny. I went to the front to get prayer and Pastor Todd prayed over me. And said, God is going to make beauty from your ashes. You are a lone wolf in the fields and NO LONGER will you sit in the fields alone. NO LONGER will you keep your life quiet! You HIDE so many secrets and pain. And God wants its gone! He wants you to know that HE is going to pull you through this. And that WOW, you are truly amazing and you have counsel to people that you don't even know about yet. God wants you to know that you are in his light of fame! I just bursted into tears because it is exactly what I had been through for the past month and can I say DAY! Then he said does that bare witness to your soul. I looked up and smiled and Said YES! Him not knowing how my day was and what I had been through. I wrote Pastor Todd a letter and let him know that he is a great man of God! And I love being somewhere I know that I can hear God! How wonderful it is to be spoken to from God.

"Seeds Of Hope" by Terese Holloway published by Creation House -
To point you towards Jesus and help you make it to shore.
You see,
He has placed me as a lighthouse, upon the raging sea
Yes, he filled me with his spirit and he put HIS Light in Me!


So see.. I WOULDN'T BE ROBYN (shinning with fame) IF I WASN'T LIKE THAT! HA HA HA! Even when I had so much pain and hurt and ANGER! God never failed to show me. He was the light that never fails because you have my light with you and that's what everyone sees. I know in my heart how that day went like the back of my hand. And how everything lined up with his plan. Now as I live my life it is to show God's Joy and Light! He is still making "Beauty from my Pain"

Today's bible verse : But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts.
1 Thessalonians 2:4

God is still examining my heart! And I know he has entrusted me with his words. He has showed me so much! And I thank him for his gift of voice from the Holy Spirit! And Thank Him that its not about pleasing men. Its about finding HIM.

Today go see what he will show you. See whats behind your name? See whats behind that song playing. Listen to what people say about you. Do you bear Fruits of the Spirit? Of bear fruits of Evil? How does your presence make people feel? Does it help them? Or crush them? Its ok to change! Its ok to smile. And most definitely its ok to cry! God needs your tears to help you! So Go! Smile! Open a door! Tell someone that there amazing or beautiful it might just be apart of there testimony! Who's life did you touch? Where did your a light shine?

signing off - SmTownTexasGirl

Deliverance From The Fowlers Deadly Snare

Hi There!

Day 4...Wow what a day! I have never been so frustrated then today...Well maybe I was some other time teeheehee. You know when you wake up and in a hurry? Well that is how my day started. I didn't get to read my daily devotion this morning, eat breakfast or get things cleaned in the house HAD to drop my sweet baby off in a hurry and missed her but that was all part of the plan. Work was crazy and really didn't know how to feel about it. Just frustration and anger!!! So many things I see, know and hear that were just all wrong. So I got home and rested very tried and read my poem. Realized what the poem was about and laughed at all the SNARES in my day. Ever read something from someone that you know is lying or is saying something about you? I did today..... Don't like it! I have been told some many things in my life. From high school until now. That saying sticks and stones may brake my bones..but words will never hurt me. So not true!! Words cut the heart. They hurt and its hard to heal those hurts. I have been told..You are fat,ugly, nasty a nothing....You will never find anyone to love you. Good luck living life..I hope your husband blows your head off.....WOW strong words huh? For what? Because I am rude or I don't say anything back? I am not perfect I have said things before to people that weren't very nice. You do reap what you sow. I have many things that I needed to be protected from.....

That's why God tells you to watch you tongue its powerful and can have truth in it or EVIL. When have you said something unkind or not right? Its ok! Everyone has done it the truth is... Hurting people hurt other people. I know that I am pretty! I know that I am not FAT and I can tell you I am living a good life and no ones going to blow my head off. That's when you ask God to send it back to the sender and leave you alone. That's what the poem is about!

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - Deliver me, Oh, Lord from the Fowler's deadly snare; And hide me in your shelter -- safe with your care.

Its true its hard not to say something back I am being honest... There are so many people that I would love to say I am sorry to.... See the devil knows what will hurt you and if you let him anger or push your buttons.. guess what you end up doing the same thing.And then the tables turn! You are the puppet now. And it looks like he has won. But now that I know this I refuse to let it happen!! Its kinda like God showed me...and this is not trying to be mean or rude in any way. When I had to let my son go to his dads for the first time....it was so hard because I was so angry with him. And really was scared to let him go.... I know there are moms out there with the same fear! But I learned to forgive and forget and learned to pray over my family for protection! And keep my children and husband from harm! The good thing is I have peace now and I know Nathan will be fine. I have learned to forgive his dad and his dads girlfriend...Which by the way we get along very well now.

Seeds Of Hope by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - When I'm feeling overpowered and constantly pursued. Deliver me, Oh, Lord, from the Fowler's deadly snare. Chase my foes away and let me rest within your care.

I will not let someone rule my life because they are unhappy with my decisions and that's to follow Jesus and I am pretty sure the Devil is angry... And the people he uses I don't hate them I just notice it and move on now. I mean seriously have you ever been talked to like that person knows your secrets to hurt you.... Its not a coincidence its all part of the devils plan he knows what will get ya! And I know his strategy now so HA! lol and I hate to tell him this but I don't hate them!! So HA! HA!

So goes to show ya that today was planed for me not to read this... because I need to see the SNARES from the beginning to know what they are. God is always faithful I know now I will not let stuff hurt me because I will ask him to keep me under his wings and guard my heart and mouth from The Fowler's SNARES. And really start believing how beautiful I am.

"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.' John 14:1

This is the bible verse I got today since I didn't read the poem I wasn't sure if it would go with it? But it does.. Spirit of truth.. That means to me that I saw truth in my day today! I know that God showed me how to point it out and get rid of it! and the World...well that says it all when it comes from people that are very Worldly And that he lives with me and will be in me! Thank you GOD!! ( like I said its not a coincidence)


So Today pray for protection if someone is angry or upset with you! Ask God to send it BACK to them whatever is being said about you that is to harm you! If you feel like you have done something to someone else maybe you should ask God to forgive you and move on and learn that your tongue is SO powerful and to be careful what you say to someone else. The whole Key is PROTECTION over "You" and your "MOUTH"

signing off - SmTownTexasGirl

Endurance Brings Gain

Hi There!

Day 3 with "Seeds Of Hope" by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - The weight of life's burdens are often heavy to bear; And the strength to arise is not always there. This is the first to lines of the poem... One word or number "16". This is will be for my younger crowd...Or Adults that have been through this or there. "16" what do you think about that? There was this girl who decided that she was all "grown" up. Wanted to find love, Friends, and a good time. She decided to make grown up decisions and got "Adult" consequences.... You know YOU will never find the love you are looking for from a "HUMAN" the love that you are looking for is from GOD. No other and will be no other! The Girl was pregnant at "16" and was so afraid that her parents they will hate her. She had to deal with Telling her parents..Telling her friends and "Making" a boy that doesn't want to grow up, realize hes a father and has to take care of her now... Going to school walking down the hall with the whispers...the laughs...the stares. Leaving her school and going to a "school" for pregnant girls. The girl was scared but knew that it might be ok..
She was to marry this boy and they were to have a son. To a girl that wants relationships that wasn't to bad. So she thought. They were married two months after the announcements of her pregnancy. To the girl everything was fine. Living at home with her parents because there is no way for a "16" year old to handle taking care of a child by herself and scared and wanted to live at her parents house. So her mother could help. Her new husband was going out and having a good time. And well she wanted to do the same. So she would go out, big and pregnant just to spend time with her new husband. But that had to stop because now the girl faces problems with the pregnancy and has to be on bed rest. Until the baby is born. Now the girl is not only alone in a new school.... with new people and really no friends, she realized that they kinda just all disappeared. Where did they go she thought? But soon her mother told her they are out enjoying there youth and life. So the girl understood and would stay home alone in her bedroom at her parents house. She cried every night. She wanted GOD to fix this. She wanted to be happy and not ALONE. It just seemed to get worse for her. Wheres my happy ending? Telling her new husband can you please stay home tonight? Can we go do something where I am not moving to much? His answer to her is NO. I am sorry but I have plans and its important that I don't break them. She soon realized she made a horrible mistake. This is not the man I am suppose to be with. She knew that God had better plans for her. Soon after three months of marriage the baby was born. She has never felt so much JOY in her life. She told God thank you for that and LOVED her baby so much! Got done with school and moved out with her new husband and things.. well looked good from the outside...But inside...was not what you thought it was. The girl would pray for GOD please do something. She knew her son could not go up in a house like this. So everyday she pray if he isn't going to change GET ME OUT OF HERE!! She struggled to find hope. But to the people that knew her they thought she was happy. She was all smiles. She knew in her heart that God would fix this. So she found her new husband with another women. First thought in her head. My Ticket.. She tryed to talk to him and tryed to make sure she wasn't wrong but he made it clear. So she left. Now almost 19 a single mother..alone moving back to her parents house. With a sweet little boy that had nothing to do with this. How could she do this to her son? Why ME God she always thought? But God already had a plan for her. And It was a wonderful plan. But she decided drinking and party to heal the hurt and pass the time would help but it didn't it made things worse more shame to add and then worrying about her little boy.


"Seeds Of Hope" by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - Yes, he will give strength, to go the next mile To overcome struggles and face every trail.

If you were wondering that "girl" was me. I had so much hate and anger towards myself and my choices. If having a baby and becoming a mother was not as JOYFUL as it was. I might not have made it. But in those to lines of the poem is what God did he always gave me a way out because I had FAITH that I would make it through this tears and all!! Every single day I quoted my favorite bible verse from the time it started until the time that chapter closed. "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1) You see sometimes we lose sight of wants important until we face something scary and alone. But God showed me I wasn't alone he was there. And I had my son of course. Which I named Nathan- and his name means "Gift from God" I wanted this all to be ok I didn't want GOD to hate me I wanted him to love me. If I only knew the whole time that is what I was looking for. Was Gods love. Not every story has a happy ending. Not every life is perfect. You see "Your" sin is no greater than the drunkard down the street! No greater then your friends lying to there parents to go out! And when you hear the someone quoting or a preacher, preaching this The Wages of sin are death....See its true! It may not be physical death but it was death to my youth and innocence.

Then I got my life kinda back to normal and trusted everything will be ok. I met my husband "Nathan" was his name. A Gift from God. I knew when I met him he was the one. His mother had a scripture that she went by every trail in her life and it was "Hebrews 11:1" God has such a great sense of humor! He knew I would notice those little things. Because he was with me the whole time and knew how important those were to me. Girls keep yourself for the one you love. Its not about how much that boy loves you. Or I can't live without him. Because the ugly truth is you can. YOU can't live without GOD and you know GOD will always love you!

I made it! I got through it! Only because I believed I wasn't alone and that Endurance did bring me gain and its my SON! I will always have something special just for him because of all we have been through together. Now I have a beautiful family and a awesome Husband.Now I can say as of this moment in my life I am happy with my GAIN!

"Seeds of Hope" by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - So, the next time life's trails, bring you great pain; Remember, HIS promise--and Let Endurance bring Gain!!

GO! You can make it to!! No matter what happens to you! Today is your day to look up at the sky..and remember HE is there! and he feels your pain and hurt. He is the only one that knows your heart. Just Have some Faith today and Hope for the rest of the road! He promises you will make it!!

signing off - SmTownTexasGirl

Most High And Secret Place

Hi There!

Day Two...I read the second day and really wasn't sure what I thought about it or how I would address it. But! I got in the car after dropping my sweet baby off and realized. What does secret place mean to me? And I reread it hmmm.....I don't know.. I kinda felt bad thinking I don't have a secret time with God. So I asked God to show me what is it? When do I do this..And then I felt awful thinking I guess I don't do this enter to a secret place? I was so confused. But as always I find humor in "everything" no matter what! And I know in my heart that is what he showed me. You speak with me in the shower and when you blow dry your hair...When you enter the car, or any building I know He showed me you are in consist conversation with me! And I laughed cause its so true! I wonder if God (already knowing) will he tell me that and ask me why? So I went ahead and told him. I feel comfort in the shower and alone. I feel no noise and to focus when I am blow drying my hair. And the car well I have this thing about "MUSIC" I love it. When something is going wrong I am down. God knows how to speak to me through music. I say God? Can this next song be for me? Its always exactly what I need to hear! So today after I laughed...I decided to ask... God? Can this next song be for me? IT was by Amy Grant Better Than a Hallelujah ( the part of the song that I heard was)

God loves a Lullaby
In the mothers tears in the dead of night
better than a hallelujah sometimes

The tears of shame for whats been done
The silence when the words won't come
are better then a hallelujah sometimes


And I wondered again how perfect is that song! By the way great song you should check it out!! Anyways I kept talking about the word "Secret"....Thought about one of my quotes I have on facebook.. "Nothing makes us as so lonely as our secrets"

So I really tried to read again and this part of the book pointed out to me in day two (by the way this is Seeds of Hope it is copy written by Creation House so I cannot put to much on here) Lord, let my wild imagination no longer have its way, nor let it paint a doomsday picture that will draw my heart astray.

I may not have grasped what other people took from that,All I know it is time to stop with the "Hurt" and the secrets that I hold! I will not let my imagination no longer have its way! I will not let my secrets make me lonely! Not only did he show me what he wanted from me. But how sometimes just enter into the most high and secret place.

Well so I did in my car right before work. I heard a amazing song reread the poem felt down and upset and he showed me "For the tears of shame for whats been done is better than a Hallelujah sometimes" and shame is my secrets and I entered the car unknowing that HE is right there that was my place today to get healing and to move on. He took me Behind the veil, where true love speaks and release..

Who knew all with in 20 mins would it take for him to show me exactly what I needed from this! He turns it around and I will bring Glory to his Kingdom
The bible verse I got today was Luke 12 22-26


Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

So true to! We all need to take what is important and stop worrying about it! Its like my "Secrets" to God was what he wanted so bad not what I look like or how "fat" I am today or what is for lunch?! Ha Ha funny to think about because we all do it!

Today Go have a conversation with God Find your "Secret" Place or you might find exactly what you need to hear from him! Gets some Hope its how we survive!

signing off - SmTownTexasGirl

The Breath Of Dawn

Hi there first time to write out my own personal blog! Well I must say super excited!! Kinda like your own personal diary..Any woo I started the "Seeds Of Hope" published by Creation House this morning I read "Day One" and after reading I asked God.... What is it that I need hope for today or just what does Breath of Dawn mean to me? Can you show me? And I must say God is very faithful always. Certain things happened to me today and let me remember every time I asked God to make the morning hurry up!! When all things were dark and nothing was right. I have had my moments..I have had my tears...For instance "Ever had a Bad Seed in your life?" What happened when you let that "Bad Seed" go? Was it pleasant or was it pure terror? I have realized that some people don't need to be there in your life. There are not helping you or making you get to your heavenly prize and the best of all the FULL relationship with Jesus. After my divorce I will never forget....Getting in the shower and asking God to make a new day a beautiful day and just plan Happy! He did he is always faithful. When certain people were brought up that I had not even thought about in along time same thing...I remember sitting and asking God.."Please let it be better in the morning!" Not one person doesn't want a "New" morning a "Fresh" start. Start by asking. When have you needed a "New" day? And What for?
Like I said God is always faithful and loves us so much! He gave me this bible verse today and it Philippians 3 (13-14) Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

And that verse made perfect since!! I have learned to start over and NOT look back to let go to know that God promises me to look a head cause he is already there! God will bring a New Day of Creation and our hearts will go towards him! I thank God so much for being in my life and showing me these things..My hope might not be life threatening but...it was threatening my life.

Everyone Go and Have a "Day of New Creation"

Signing off- SmTownTexasGirl