His Light In Me

Hi There!!

This is on page 15 if you are following... You know I never knew what it meant to have his light in me... And well you learn this from a young state. Like the song "This little light of mine". Have you ever listen to the words? Its special and its important. The light that shines means to me to show it. For example someone told me, in one of my darkness moments in life when the waves were high and I felt no where to go. You bring such joy to a room. You walk in and your presence is know. I watch people come over to you with smiles and greet you and ask hows you day? And whats going on with you in "laughter". I stood there and said, well thank you I love to make people laugh and happy. Funny is my middle name. HA HA right.... In all seriousness that was the day I realized what that meant. I had felt no Joy and Laughter..I was sad and lonely and upset with God! I can admit I have been upset and angry with him. In many moments not understanding that was going to lead me in my direction at that moment in time. She said JOY....Presence and Laughter...and well fellowship. That is God! That was his light in me showing through all the emotions and all the sadness that no matter what again he was always with me. "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine, hide under a bushel NO! I'm going to let it shine! Won't let Satan "WHOOSH" it out! I'm going to let it shine." I sang that as I got into the car that day, and headed out... As a I got a awful phone call. That really didn't put a cherry on top. I asked God, Here I am singing your song!! And that happens to me! I pulled up into a church parking lot and cryed!! And asked him one last time... WHY is this happening to me? I have loved and cryed to you so long! Tell them to leave me alone and let it be. I got no answer...... nothing... my heart felt numb.

"Seeds Of Hope" by Terese Holloway published by Creation House - I look out into the darkness, across the stormy skies; I can hardly take it nor scarce believe my eyes. For the waves are crashing high and the winds in tempest blow; Lightening flashes in succession, with such devastating bolts, But I am safe within the storm, for I'm a lighthouse straight and tall.

As I left the car.. and walked in to the store to get something to drink and maybe some gum. The girl at the front said. Hi, How are you today? I said good! and You? I am doing well! I said that is good to hear!I got my items and she said Whats wrong? I said nothing! Kinda a little upset that she would ask? She said, You are such a pretty girl and have such a wonderful smile! You have a light that brightens room. You shouldn't be sad. I said, thank you and walked out. I got back in to my car and cryed. Why am I crying? I thought to myself. I didn't do anything wrong? As I got back to my work, and walked in to get away from the heat. I watched as people watched me... What are they thinking? Whats wrong with them? One of the guys walked up and said you know its pretty cool after everything you have been through and whats going on. You always manage to put a smile and a laugh on someones face. I said Thanks! I try you know! He said no it looks natural. And I smiled and walked off to the bathroom, knowing they must know I have been crying... So I looked at myself in the mirror and said please God! Make my heart feel better and make me feel better! As I got ready to go home that day. Making my last drop off at work. Someone walked up and said just so you know as a friend, your coworkers are telling people whats been going on. I said that's fine. No one has said anything to me. HE said because you look fine? I said do I? I thought I must put on a good front!! For sure cause I am not fine! He said, I know your not! But you wouldn't be Robyn if you weren't. I got in my car to go home and I thought, God can I not have a sad day? Can I not feel alone? and cry? And I said But I GUESS I WOULDN'T BE ROBYN IF I WASN'T right? and turned up the radio as loud as it could and the song "Stand In The Rain" by "SuperChick" Came on which its from the album "Beauty from Pain" and the song goes:

She never slows down
She doesn’t know why
But she knows that when she’s all alone
It feels like it’s all coming down

She won’t turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down

Chorus:
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fear’s whispering
If she stands, she’ll fall down

She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything
She’s running from
Wants to give up and lie down

I remember hearing this song and thought the chorus was perfect! I told GOD thank you! and That I needed that which the chorus is:

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain

You know I got home and got ready for Wednesday night church because I felt like I really needed it. I was putting some stuff up in a box. Because at this point I lived back with my mother and father in there house after the divorce. And I put up a little bitty frame. I turned the frame around and it said "Robyn" Shinning with Fame." I have always had people tell me what that means is your going to be famous.... Yea right! ha ha! At that moments all the people that told me about my "smiles" my "presence" my "laughter" and fellowship with others hit me at once. It was "Shinning" with fame! His "Light" was inside me! So I called some friends and asked them to go.

As a I got to church it was about "My Destiny" I listened and Laughed because Pastor Todd is always funny. I went to the front to get prayer and Pastor Todd prayed over me. And said, God is going to make beauty from your ashes. You are a lone wolf in the fields and NO LONGER will you sit in the fields alone. NO LONGER will you keep your life quiet! You HIDE so many secrets and pain. And God wants its gone! He wants you to know that HE is going to pull you through this. And that WOW, you are truly amazing and you have counsel to people that you don't even know about yet. God wants you to know that you are in his light of fame! I just bursted into tears because it is exactly what I had been through for the past month and can I say DAY! Then he said does that bare witness to your soul. I looked up and smiled and Said YES! Him not knowing how my day was and what I had been through. I wrote Pastor Todd a letter and let him know that he is a great man of God! And I love being somewhere I know that I can hear God! How wonderful it is to be spoken to from God.

"Seeds Of Hope" by Terese Holloway published by Creation House -
To point you towards Jesus and help you make it to shore.
You see,
He has placed me as a lighthouse, upon the raging sea
Yes, he filled me with his spirit and he put HIS Light in Me!


So see.. I WOULDN'T BE ROBYN (shinning with fame) IF I WASN'T LIKE THAT! HA HA HA! Even when I had so much pain and hurt and ANGER! God never failed to show me. He was the light that never fails because you have my light with you and that's what everyone sees. I know in my heart how that day went like the back of my hand. And how everything lined up with his plan. Now as I live my life it is to show God's Joy and Light! He is still making "Beauty from my Pain"

Today's bible verse : But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts.
1 Thessalonians 2:4

God is still examining my heart! And I know he has entrusted me with his words. He has showed me so much! And I thank him for his gift of voice from the Holy Spirit! And Thank Him that its not about pleasing men. Its about finding HIM.

Today go see what he will show you. See whats behind your name? See whats behind that song playing. Listen to what people say about you. Do you bear Fruits of the Spirit? Of bear fruits of Evil? How does your presence make people feel? Does it help them? Or crush them? Its ok to change! Its ok to smile. And most definitely its ok to cry! God needs your tears to help you! So Go! Smile! Open a door! Tell someone that there amazing or beautiful it might just be apart of there testimony! Who's life did you touch? Where did your a light shine?

signing off - SmTownTexasGirl